


Time of Death

by annabymilton



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Historical, F/F, Female-Centric, Girls Kissing, POV Female Character, POV First Person, Period-Typical Homophobia, Supernatural Ladies, Women of Supernatural, although i dont know when this will be updated bc im working on my thing for femslash minibang, blatant fucking with canon, fight me, i mean not yet but Soon, ik ik first person pov sucks but, its not, kind of anna thinks thats what it is, tags will be updated as I go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-22
Updated: 2015-02-22
Packaged: 2018-03-14 14:08:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3413537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annabymilton/pseuds/annabymilton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One's life is supposed to flash before your eyes when you die. All your greatest hits, all your lost loves, all those times in fourth grade when you peed during the talent show, everything! But every forty years or so, Anna Milton's life restarts. There's only two constants: the girl with an ever-changing name, and the father that wants her dead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time of Death

**Author's Note:**

> Alright so here's a key thing for you:
> 
> Genevieve is Ruby  
> Josephine is Abaddon  
> Meghan is Meg  
> Tamara is Tammi/Tammy

I.

I would give my life...  
to be human  
\- e.g.

 

humanity was beautiful, or at least i thought it was. so high above it all, a whole other plane of existence, and i was just energy and thoughts alone. and then He created them and they were beautiful, confused and flawed and each one unique. my brother fell first, too prideful to admit they were better than us.

i remember deciding i wanted to join them. they were building more intricate buildings, past the little huts they resided in before. they learned what art was and how to form languages and everything they formed was iconic. maybe i was romanticizing them a bit, but they were so different than what i knew for my entire existence. and they all were shaped like my Father was. so i went to him, approached him carefully, and asked if there was a way for me to live among them.

He smiled as though He knew all along that i would ask-- and He must have considering He created this all, from the beginning to the end. 

"Anael, you always were a curious one. but you know, once you leave, you cannot return."

that made me hesitate, after all this was all i'd ever known. but that was the point, was it not? this is where i was meant to end up, down on earth with humanity. it was clear He knew i had made my decision.

"fair enough. i will miss you daughter." and with that, heaven opened up under me and my world went black.

 

II.

wish hard i could turn it  
into what i like  
\- p.w.

 

i came to on a dirty street corner, an alley more like. it was damp, soaking into the pale white dress my vessel was in. it was odd being human, i felt fragile, like i could blow away on a breeze. my skin was pale but marked by mud and dirt from the stone of the alley. my hair hung in watered down ringlets, a dark red shock that fell in my eyes. i let my fingertips feel along my face, feeling soft bags under my eyes, high cheekbones, chapped lips.

and then i realized i had no where to go. all i had was this alley, a dank smell of rats and chamber pots like a blanket over the corner. i decided to start with standing, my legs shaking slightly under me. i turned slowly, trying to become more aware of what was around me. and then there was the sound of someone clearing their throat, a girl, it sounded like.

i started slightly, goosebumps rising as i turned on my heel, eyes widening. the girl was small, about my height, with long blonde hair in curled ringlets. she seemed oddly bright eyed, although almost cruel. a smile curled up her lips as she asked, "you lost, red?"

i just nodded, hoping to rely on the kindness of strangers. "anna. i-i'm anna."

the blonde nodded in return, answering, "i'm genevieve. i have a room where i'm staying, if you need it?"

i bit my lip, worried that maybe going off with a stranger wasn't the best idea. but what other choice did i have? "yes, please. thank you."

and i followed the girl out onto the street, curving around thing street corners. the buildings seemed to leave no air for us to breathe, the brisk air clinging to my skin. genevieve seemed unaffected, just continuing with leading me. she was beautiful in an odd way, where it felt as though touching her might burn my skin. she was fire. but i followed her, because she was my only chance at shelter. 

we reached a large stone building that appeared to be a plain looking chapel of sorts. it struck a cord in my heart, but i ignored the feeling. she said lightly, "home sweet home. i'm staying in the basement."

the wooden doors creaked as she opened them and the walls seemed to vibrate when they closed behind us, although i suppose i could have been making up the added eeriness myself. the church was silent, just slightly warmer than the outside air. rows and rows of hard wooden pews lined the floor until there reached the alter and large wooden crucifix. it all felt familiar to me, but where i knew the pained expression on the man's face from seemed to slip through my fingers. i could not remember my past, not really, anyway, but i wasn't panicked.

genevieve seemed unbothered by my lack of reply, seeming to brush it off before leading me back behind the alter. here there was a small wooden door that led back to what i assumed was where the holy men stayed. the door opened into a concrete room with small window, a chamber pot, three chairs and two small cots. for a moment i was worried, but genevieve brushed past the barren room as though it wasn't there and opened yet another small door, this one leading down into a stairwell.

the mustiness of the walls around the stairs made me cough, the dust catching in my throat. genevieve glance behind her, halting for a moment and asked, "are you well?"

i was almost surprised that she seemed to care, considering the lack of compassion she seemed to show thus far. i cleared my throat, saying "yes, the air is more thick than i am used to. it's no issue." 

genevieve did not seem to believe me but she led me farther down into wherever exactly we were. soon enough we reached the bottom, opening up into another room, ringed in cots around a fireplace. it seemed mostly empty, which was surprising. genevieve said lightly, "tamara, josephine, and meghan are out. they should be back at morning. that cot there is yours, make yourself at home."

i nodded, sitting down on the one she has indicated. this all seemed so strange and i wondered why this girl was living here in a basement all alone. i wondered how i ended up here, but decided now was not the time. i laid down into the warm cot, closing my eyes, and fell asleep.

 

III.

i fell asleep so confused  
parts of me remind me  
of you  
\- s.f.

in my dream, i looked the same. i was at some point in the future, in the back of a metal thing. the word car popped into my head and for some reason it made sense. i sat next to a girl, oddly familiar. something in my heart told me it was genevieve, but i knew it was impossible because she looked so different.

her hair was long, dark dark brown. and an odd gray smoke curled around her, made it hard to look at her, but she still did. and her eyes were black, no sign of the whites of her eyes. just black.

IV.

 

can i be close to you   
oh you  
-t.p.k

 

the dream hung in the back of my head even as i woke up. within moments, most of it had slipped through the cracks in my consciousness but i did remember genevieve and that something from above and below was trying to find me, hurt me. and i knew my dad was angry, but did not want to think about who exactly he was. 

i decided instead to focus on the other girls. there was a darker skinned girl with long curled black hair and dark eyes. there was another girl, with high cheek bones, tumbling red hair, and large eyes that seemed angry. next to genevieve was a final girl, on the large side with curling black hair and big blue eyes and a down turned mouth. the red head said dully, "oh look, she has awoken."

genevieve rolled her eyes when the curly haired one piped up, "genevieve told us about you. i am meghan. that is tamara and josephine."

i blinked what little sleep was left in my eyes and shifted nervously. "oh. right. it is nice to meet you, i am very grateful for you allowing me to stay here with you."

tamara stood up and said in a smooth tone, "well, you can not stay for long. you must be the preacher's daughter, father michael. he said he lost his daughter."

my breath caught in my throat, i had no concrete memories of my father, no idea if michael truly was his name. regardless, i knew this michael would hurt me, wanted to hurt me, and i would not be safe. josephine interfered then, saying "she clearly ran away, tamara. are we sure we should return her? father michael is not exactly the nicest man around."

i nodded earnestly at that, "yes, please let me stay"

genevieve looked skeptical, wrinkling her nose slightly at my reaction. she said, "we live in the basement of his church, i do not know how long you can stay away from him."

meghan shrugged, "genevieve is correct, it may be more than a bit of a problem." 

they let the subject fall, much to my relief. it didn't offer much, however. even if we were not speaking about the subject, it was still more than likely that things would not end peacefully. a haunting thought in the back of my head told me that i would never just live a normal life, even if i did not know why i could not. i tried not to let the thoughts scare me, but i felt fear creep through my bones as though to spite me. priests were meant to be peaceful things, were they not? and yet somehow i knew i had to keep running.

 

V.

to keep the goddess on my side...   
...she demands a sacrifice  
\- h.

 

it was late, after the doors of the church were closed and all the priests had retired to the monastery. the other four-- genevieve, meghan, josephine, and tamara-- were upstairs in the main area of the church. they had told me they went to pray, as they always did at night. 

it seemed to be the perfect time for me to finally run away from it all, find my own way out of this trap of a church. i felt bad that she would be abandoning genevieve, she had seemed to be nice enough with an oddly pure heart behind her shifty eyes. but i had no other option; i was to stay here and be taken by the father i knew would kill me or try my luck out on the dirty street. it was more than frightening to know that it was more than likely that my life would end tonight or at the very least in the coming week. so my life had to end on my own terms and i wanted to die in freedom, not locked in a church basement.

i pulled the thin blanket from my cot, wrapping it carefully around me and stuffing a dry loaf of bread that was molding at the edges into the front of my nightgown. it was less than ideal, but prayer alone can't keep one alive. slowly, i walked up the rounding stone staircase i had just walked down a few night prior. the only sound that kept me company was the soft noise of my own feet and the buzzing of what i assumed to be a fly high above my head. when the door at last came into sight, i reached out and felt for which edge of the door was hinged to the wall, finally just shouldering the door open with a soft scrape. 

this led me to the small room to the side of the altar. i could see the girls sitting, a dim and flickering yellow candle in the center of their circle. all of their head were bowed and i could hear nothing of their prayers but a quiet murmur and could smell nothing but incense burning and a low hint of something like rotting eggs. the scent made bile rise in my throat but also made me see how they were distracted.

i carefully eyed them as i crouched down behind the cover of the pews, trying to crawl across the stones. inside my head, i told myself how i had to do this, how this was my only option, because i was starting to think i should give up and give in. the harsh stone of the floor was scraping my pale knees, leaving small dew drops of blood on the edges of the holy ground. 

the murmuring of the chants in latin cut off abruptly, a loud screech echoing from somewhere above me as the main room dimmed, the candles flickering out. i stilled, fear clutching at my throat. when i saw a flurry of dark black smoke descend from the ceiling, making all four of the girls look up at it, away from me. i scrambled onto my feet, running for the door in the disturbance, not taking note of the muffled dialogue i could almost hear behind me.

i have not seen you in quite a time, abaddon. nice to finally have a vessel. now, what is it you wanted me to do here?

i found the angel, anael. she ran right to us.

they were talking nonsense, saying they found an angel. i just had to get out of here, these people were clearly delusional.

but then in front of me appeared josephine, as through from thin air. she looked every inch as though she were an aristocrat still-- high cheekbones, long curls of red hair, and big eyes-- but her once charming smile had twisted into this cruel smirk. she tilted her head to the side, raising an eyebrow. "what do you think you are doing, anna? leaving us so soon?"

they had caught me. i searched for a proper explanation, but when the molding loaf of bread fell to the floor, all excuses i had died on my tongue. i looked behind me, in hopes that genevieve would take pity on me. genevieve refused to look at me, keeping her eyes on tamara, who was acting altogether unusual. she was standing straighter, chin higher, than she usually did, and when i looked at her she walked forward and towards me.

she said, still looking at me, but directing it to abaddon. "i never expected you to be this... good at your work, abaddon. thank you for summoning me. i may speak to lilith about having your ranking moved up downstairs, a former knight of hell shouldn't be stuck as a lowly crossroads worker. especially when you got me the lost angel."

knight of hell? lost angel? i said lowly, "i do not what you are talking about. i-i am just a human, not an angel."

josephine bared her teeth in a cruel imitation of a grin. "thank you tamara. and i told you, she does not remember heaven." 

i looked at her in shock, not able to believe what i was hearing. of course i did not know what heaven is like-- i was just a human! this had to count as blasphemy and i was starting to consider finding the father-- who i was certain wanted me dead-- just to tell him what i had heard!

and then josephine's pupils seemed to swallow the rest of her eyes whole, turning a black darker than night, a dark smoke curling at the edges of her being. i looked back at tamara, wide eyed and frightened only to see the same nightmare on her, the soft sheen of fire and bones hinted at beneath her skin and i could do nothing but scream.

tamara cracked a sickly grin. "oh look, abaddon, the girl sees us." josephine actually laughed, as did meghan. genevieve just stayed silent, looking between me and the two abominations on either side of me.

i said quietly, "why are you calling her abaddon? and why do you look like that?"

meghan stepped past tamara, saying in her scratchy voice, "oh i got this one, tamara. it's because they are demons, anna. and you... you are an angel. they have been looking for you."

i stepped away from both of them, feeling a stab of fear in my gut. demons were not meant to walk in the holy ground and this was a church! they had to be lying, it all had to be a dream. genevieve said quietly, "it's true, anna. meghan and i are... witches, i suppose is the correct word." 

and that is when the darkness closed in around me and i fainted, swaying back. i was aware of nothing as my eyes closed except that i could smell my own blood on the stones of the church.


End file.
